Baptism: We Can’t Mess it Up
Sermon for Sunday, January 8, 2012. The Rev. Anne Edison-Albright, preaching. Sermon text: Mark 1:4-11. Part of a series on God revealed in worship.
Do you ever sit in church and wonder, “Why do we do that?”
In worship everything we do has meaning and purpose, but the meaning is often lost and the purpose is not always clear.
During these Sundays after Epiphany we will hear Scripture readings about how God is revealed to the world through Jesus Christ. This year we’re using this time and these Scripture readings to explore how God in Christ is revealed through the way we worship together. We’re going to get into the how’s and why’s of worship starting today with baptism.
Almost any question I can think of to ask about baptism can be answered in one or more of these three ways:
- God does the work of baptism, claiming us as beloved children.
- Baptism makes us part of the Body of Christ
- Baptism is about life and death and eternal life.
Let’s look at that first one: God does the work of baptism. This is Good News. It’s Good News for us because it means that baptism is a gift from God and we can’t mess it up.
When the very first Christians started baptizing each other one of the very first questions that came up was, “Are we doing this right?” If I get baptized and then sin again, do I need to be baptized again? If I get baptized by someone who turns out to be a terrible sinner, do I need to be re-baptized by a holier, better person?
As we’ll talk about more later, baptism is about life and death. It’s incredibly important and forms the very core of our Christian identity. So it makes sense that there would be a lot of anxiety about it, as people worried that the baptism they received might not be valid and that God wouldn’t recognize it, somehow.
So the leaders of the early church got together and they wrote the Nicene Creed. That’s the longer creed that we say together on Christmas and Easter. In the Nicene Creed we confess that we acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
One baptism. You only need to be baptized once, because it is God who does all the hard work of baptism, and God gets it right the first time, every time.
In baptism God names us and claims us forever as beloved children of God. We heard from Scripture today that Jesus was baptized by John, a good man, and a holy man, but still a normal, real human being like you and me. A sinner, like you and me. John himself recognizes that he’s not worthy to touch Jesus’ sandals, much less baptize him. And yet, Jesus is baptized. John pours the water, but it is really God who does all the work. The Spirit descends, and Jesus is claimed: “This is my son, this is my beloved child,” says God. “I love him, and nothing can ever change that.”
That’s what God does to each one of us when we’re baptized. And that’s why we baptize babies. We know they’re not going to lead sin-free lives from now on. We know they don’t understand what’s happening to them. God gives us the promise and Good News of baptism whether we ever understand it or not.
God does the work. It’s a gift and we can’t mess it up.
That’s why anybody, even a non-Christian with good intentions, can baptize someone in an emergency. That’s why people who convert from one Christian denomination to another aren’t required to get re-baptized. There’s no Lutheran baptism or Roman Catholic baptism or Presbyterian baptism … There’s only one baptism for the forgiveness of sins, Christ’s baptism. God’s baptism.
In worship, baptism and the remembrance of baptism reveal God’s unconditional love and forgiveness. And that’s Good News!
The second piece of Good News I want to share about baptism is that it makes us part of the Body of Christ. If God does the work, you may wonder, and God can do that work any time, any place under any conditions, why do we usually have baptisms at church, right in the middle of the church service? If anyone can baptize someone, why get the pastor involved at all?
The reason we make baptism part of our worship life as a congregation is that baptism not only makes us sons and daughters of God, but also brothers and sisters with every other baptized person in the world. We include baptism as part of the church service as a reminder that the person being baptized becoming part of a much larger family.
That family has a responsibility to welcome this new brother or sister: to be a role model of faith to them, to be there when they have doubts, to encourage their questions and curiosity about God, to teach them the central teachings of our faith: the Lord’s Prayer, the 10 Commandments, the Creeds, the story of God and God’s people that comes to us through the Bible.
When a baby is baptized, parents promise to take on this responsibility. Sponsors/godparents, also promise to help the newly baptized person grow in faith. But it’s not just close family and friends that make this promise. Every baptized Christian is responsible to and for each other and in our baptismal service the congregation makes those promises on behalf of the whole communion of saints, brothers and sisters in Christ on earth and in heaven.
We are not baptized into our immediate family or our specific congregation. We are baptized into the whole body of Christ.
In worship, baptism and the remembrance of baptism reveal that we are part of something much larger than ourselves. We are part of God’s family, and connected through Jesus Christ to Christians around the world. And that’s Good News!
But the Good News doesn’t end there. The most important Good News about baptism is that we are baptized into the life, death, and eternal life of Christ.
This is my son Walter’s baptism blanket. It was made especially for him before he was even conceived. Some of you have heard the story of this blanket before. My friend Audrey made it when she found out that Sean and I had lost a baby. When she heard about the miscarriage she started to knit. She made a beautiful white baptism blanket for the baby she hoped Sean and I would have, some day. As soon as she found out I was pregnant again she sent us the blanket, knowing that we were very scared that we would lose this baby, too. Knowing that it was possible the blanket would never get used.
Audrey’s blanket reminded me that baptism is about life and death, hope and fear: the most important things on earth and in heaven all brought together with water and the Word of God.
Baptism is a joyful celebration of life. And yet, at its center, baptism is about death. We are baptized because we are going to die. Lutheran funerals often begin with a thanksgiving for baptism and with these words:
“When we were baptized in Christ Jesus,
We were baptized into his death.
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death,
So that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father,
We too might live a new life.
For if we have been united with him in a death like his,
We shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.”
The water used in baptism isn’t just a symbol of cleansing; it’s a symbol of drowning. It’s a symbol of dying and being buried. It’s a symbol of the chaos that has existed along with God since the beginning of time: the terrifying unknown out of which God created heaven and earth.
Baptism reminds us that in order to be reborn we must die. And this is the source of our joy at baptism. It isn’t joy and hope that is ignorant and pretends that death doesn’t exist. It is the joy and hope that comes from knowing that, through baptism, we are joined with Christ not only in his death, but also in his resurrection.
Baptism is about life and death and eternal life to come.
In worship, baptism and the remembrance of baptism reveal God’s promise for us: that we will live eternally with God.And that’s very, very Good News!
Pastor Annie baptizing her son, Walter
Today, I get to baptize three baby boys: Jack, Clayton and my son, Walter. I am a human being, a sinner. I’m not worthy to baptize anyone. But God does the work. God will name and claim these baby boys and say, “You are my sons. I love you. You are mine, no matter what.” Jack, Clayton and Walter will become brothers in Christ, part of God’s huge family, the body of Christ. And as their brothers and sisters in Christ all of us gathered today will promise to nurture them and guide them in their faith. Finally, God, who was there to hear their borning cries, will accompany Jack, and Clayton and Walter throughout their lives, and one day will welcome them into eternal life.
Baptism is a gift and we can’t mess it up. Thanks be to God! Amen.
O Emmanuel!
This last week of Advent we are reflecting on the O Antiphons in anticipation of the coming of Christ at Christmas. For more information, see the first entry, O Wisdom!
We pray:
O come, O come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel,
that mourns in lonely exile here until the Son of God appear.
From the depths of our bondage to sin, we long for more than a King, more than a Lord, more than the fulfillment of prophecy. We cry out audaciously for our God to come down from the mountain — for Emmanuel, “God with us” to dwell among God’s people and set us free.
Christmas is here! What is different this year for you? What is the same? How is God with you? What does God Emmanuel change in your life?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
Amen! Merry Christmas!
O King of Nations!
This last week of Advent we are reflecting on the O Antiphons in anticipation of the coming of Christ at Christmas. For more information, see the first entry, O Wisdom!
We pray:
O come, O King of nations, come, O Cornerstone that binds in one:
refresh the hearts that long for you; restore the broken, make us new.
The promise of a Savior for Israel is extended to the people of all nations; a new kind of King, who transcends borders. This expansive welcome is a real and trustworthy comfort for all people: our hearts are refreshed, we are healed, restored and made new.
What would refresh your heart today? What is broken in your life, what is broken in the world? How do you see God at work these days, making all things new?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
Amen.
O Dayspring!
This last week of Advent we are reflecting on the O Antiphons in anticipation of the coming of Christ at Christmas. For more information, see the first entry, O Wisdom!
We pray:
O come, O Dayspring, come and cheer; O Sun of justice now draw near
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death’s dark shadow put to flight.
On this, the longest night of the year, we cry out for Christ the Dayspring, the Dawning Sun, to burst forth from east and bring a new day and a new life. Christ is our hope, Christ is our renewal, Christ is our salvation.
Are there corners of your life that seem lost in shadow on even the brightest days? Think of a time when things seemed hopeless–a dark night of the soul. What gave you hope during that time? What are you hoping for today?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
O Key of David!
This last week of Advent we are reflecting on the O Antiphons in anticipation of the coming of Christ at Christmas. For more information, see the first entry, O Wisdom!
We pray:
O come, O Key of David, come, and open wide our heavenly home;
make safe the way that leads on high, and close the path to misery.
Of the Messiah, Isaiah proclaims, “[God] will place on his shoulder the key of the house of David; he shall open, and no one shall shut; he shall shut, and no one shall open.” Sometimes a particularly cherished person is given the keys to the city. Here, Christ is given the keys to the whole world, to salvation, to our hearts. Christ is our escape from bondage to freedom, from sin and death to new life. It is by Christ’s authority that our sins are forgiven, and by God’s grace that we are free to forgive each other.
What doors have you felt open for you in the past year? What doors have felt closed to you? What obstacles seemed insurmountable? Have you felt separated from others by disagreements and conflict? What stands in the way of reconciliation?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
Amen
O Branch of Jesse!
This last week of Advent we are reflecting on the O Antiphons in anticipation of the coming of Christ at Christmas. For more information, see the first entry, O Wisdom!
We pray:
O come, O Branch of Jesse, free your own from Satan’s tyranny,
from depths of hell your people save, and give them vict’ry o’er the grave.
The Jesse named in tonight’s antiphon is the father of King David; Isaiah and Micah prophesied the Messiah would be a descendant of Jesse, a branch on the family tree. It is a lineage both Matthew and Luke trace at great length.
Long lists of names don’t make for great reading, but upon closer inspection these lists are pretty interesting. Some women are mentioned in the lists … why these few and not others? The stories behind some of these names are funny, tragic, shameful, miraculous … the whole range of human experience. The names stand for people, and people aren’t perfect. Families are much more interesting and complicated than a list can tell, and Jesus’ family is no exception.
When you draw your family tree, who is included? What branches are pruned? What names are forgotten or intentionally excluded? What are some of the stories behind the names? What does it mean to be part of Jesus’ family as Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ? What members of your family will you miss this Christmas?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
Amen!
O Lord!
This last week of Advent we are reflecting on the O Antiphons in anticipation of the coming of Christ at Christmas. For more information, see the first entry, O Wisdom!
We pray:
O come, o come, O Lord of might, as to your tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times you gave the law in cloud and majesty and awe.
Tonight we reflect on the generosity of a God who dwells with God’s people. On Sinai, this revelation took the form of fire, thundercloud, tremors, and wind. Meeting his Lord left Moses awestruck and forever changed.
How have you been changed by your encounters with Christ this year? What experiences of God have left you awestruck? After an intense, mountaintop experience with God, how have you handled the descent back to the people and places of your day-to-day life? How do you nourish your faith in that valley? How do you nourish your faith if you’ve never had a mountaintop experience?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
Amen.
O Wisdom!
The O Antiphons are a series of 7 ancient Christian prayers traditionally sung or recited during Vespers (evening prayer) on the last seven nights of Advent. Each of the antiphons, which are based on the words of the prophet Isaiah, begins with a title for Christ, revealing an aspect of his role in salvation history and expressing our great longing for the coming of the Messiah. While you may never have heard of the O Antiphons before, you’re probably familiar with them, as they are the basis for the hymn “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.” We’ll focus on that familiar form in our reflections this week.
We pray:
O Come, O Wisdom from on high, embracing all things far and nigh:
in strength and beauty come and stay; teach us your will and guide our way.
Tonight we reflect on Christ as the Wisdom of God’s great plan for salvation, a plan begun at the dawn of time, encompassing all of creation — Christ as the Word made Flesh; the Way, the Truth, and the Light. Can you recall a time when you have needed Christ’s guidance in the past year? A time when the world has seemed chaotic and purposeless, or when you were unable to find God in your life? Maybe a friend has expressed feeling lost, or a co-worker has needed strength and support. Have you wondered how your hands could work for God’s will, and how your feet could follow God’s way?
Hear this good news:
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel!
Amen
When Jesus Shows Up Unexpectedly
by The Rev. Anne Edison-Albright
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:37-40
Jesus is not speaking metaphorically, here. He means it. When we care for people in this way, we are caring for Jesus. When we meet people who are in need, we are meeting Jesus.
But what if the Jesus we meet is mentally ill? What if Jesus is drunk or belligerent? What if Jesus repays our kindness by stealing from us, taking advantage of us, manipulating us? What if Jesus gets violent and we fear for our safety? What if Jesus asks for something it’s just not possible for us to give?
The Bible doesn’t say “welcome the stranger as long as the stranger is easy to get along with,” “feed the hungry as long as they don’t make unreasonable demands,” or “visit the sick unless they’re sick in a scary way.” Jesus doesn’t put conditions on loving and caring for our neighbors. And that’s a very difficult challenge to live out.
Christians throughout the centuries have struggled with the question of how to care for our neighbors, how to care for Christ himself, when providing that care is difficult, dangerous or seemingly impossible. You have probably encountered this question yourself. This article contains some suggestions for how to meet and care for Christ in difficult situations, as well as information about our policies for offering emergency assistance at Redeemer.
When Jesus shows up at church
A visitor came to Redeemer during our Wednesday evening meal time. She needed a place to stay. Several members of Redeemer came together to meet her immediate needs; they found a place where she could stay. But, a day or so later, she had to leave that place. She tried many other places in our area, but was always asked to leave after a short time. Once again, she had no place to stay, and had run out of places to go.
We can only speculate about the reasons why. It may be that there was “no room at the inn”–the problems that Mary and Joseph had finding housing in Bethlehem provides a good point of comparison. It could be that there was room, but the inn was ill-equipped to provide what the visitor needed: many persistently homeless people struggle with severe, untreated mental illness and/or addictions that make it impossible to retain housing, even with the help of individuals and institutions. Facing situations like this one is frustrating, frightening, and overwhelming for everyone involved. It truly feels like there are no options. How do we meet and care for Jesus against these odds?
Redeemer’s policy on providing assistance for walk-ins (people who don’t have any connection to Redeemer but look to churches as sources of help in hard times) is consistent with the other Lutheran churches in town: we provide $20, fuel-only gas cards for people who are willing to come to the church and meet with the pastor. During that meeting, I assess their needs and try to connect them with resources in the area, such as Health and Human Services, Bootstrap, and The Salvation Army. The money for the fuel cards comes from the Good Samaritan Fund, which is a budgeted part of Redeemer’s general fund. No additional monetary resources are provided by the church. Most churches are unable to sustain significant financial assistance to individuals or families, and providing rent or utilities assistance to one person can mean we’d be unable to provide any other assistance to anyone else. Redeemer generously supports—through financial support and volunteer support—organizations in Stevens Point that are able to provide and sustain assistance with housing, child care, utilities and food for large numbers of people. Some other Lutheran churches in our area offer a Community Food Shelf—a ministry we may want to consider as our space and resources grow.
Visitors in need of assistance who come to Redeemer on Wednesday nights or Sunday mornings have the opportunity to eat and worship with us—receiving a full and warm welcome to the dinner table and to the Lord’s Table. This welcome is given with healthy amounts of both compassion and caution. Situations that may cause harm to the person in need or to anyone around them are real possibilities that can’t always be avoided, but should be avoided when possible.
When caring for Jesus gets complicated
It may have happened to you already. If it hasn’t, at some point in your life, you will give generously to someone who then lets you down in some way. While painful, this is usually not the end of the world—we don’t give to receive gratitude, and we can trust that even people who manipulate, steal, and lie to receive assistance are beloved and in the care of God. The Holy Spirit is at work in ways we may never see, using our gifts to make a real change in that person. The Holy Spirit is at work in us, too, coaxing us to give and give again, even when we’ve had bad experiences with giving.
Sometimes, caring for people in need can become dangerous. Significant loss of resources and even threats of violence can result from our interactions with people whose needs are desperately great. We can find ourselves in over our heads and stretched beyond our ability to help.
At times like these, it is important to remember that we are completely forgiven by God through Christ, and so we are called to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Forgiveness for self and others is important when your generosity has been abused. Forgiveness for self and others is also important when you decide you cannot afford the risk that comes from helping someone. Remember: you and the person you are unable to help are both precious and beloved of God. Your life and safety is important. So is theirs. You can trust that, if you cannot help someone, God is going to find another way to help them. The burden of being God is not on you.
What can I do to help?
You are not God, but you are called to act as God’s hands and feet in the world. Given the challenges of caring for our neighbors in need, what can we do?
Pray
This sometimes feels like a last resort, but it’s actually a wonderful place to start and to return to again and again. Pray for your own strength, wisdom, and ability to care as well as for the person in need. You may worry that prayer isn’t a very tangible, immediate response to the real needs of people you meet. Be assured that prayer results in very tangible, real help for people in all sorts of need. You may never see those results, and the results may not be exactly what you prayed for, but God is surely at work and responding to your prayers.
Be humane AND safe
A very basic thing to remember is that people in need are human, and relating to them as fellow humans, as brothers and sisters in Christ, goes a long way. Even if you can’t help in any other way, a basic show of respect for the dignity of others can make a huge, long-lasting difference.
It may be “basic,” but it’s actually not all that simple. One formerly homeless woman said she would always give thanks for the people who were willing to look her in the eye and speak to her directly, rather than run past her with eyes averted, pretending she didn’t exist. But eye contact and directness can be triggers for people with mental illness, leading to unintended confrontations.* Each situation you encounter will be different—be alert, read the situation carefully, and be safe. Be guarded about giving out your full name, address or phone number. Be clear and consistent about what kind of assistance you can and cannot offer. Remove yourself from the situation if the person becomes angry or shows signs of violence. If you need to, call the police.
Remember that people in need may surprise you in wonderful ways, too. You may be so focused on helping them and caring for them that you don’t realize how capable they are of helping and caring for you and others. When charity turns into accompaniment—a mutual ministry of caring—everyone involved is affirmed and blessed as gifted children of God.
Support long term solutions, systemic change and justice
This is the best way to make a real difference in the lives of a large number of people: work to change the conditions that lead to poverty, hunger, preventable illness, untreated mental illness and addiction. This work is takes longer to accomplish but lasts longer, too. Examples of organizations that work for systemic change and justice include:
- Shama, the group that uses Redeemer’s kitchen space for fundraisers benefitting women and children in India. Shama provides microloans for women to start their own businesses. Empowering women in this way improves the lives of their families and their whole communities. The women are quickly able to pay back the organization—an act of financial independence that provides further empowerment.
- Bread for the World, an ecumenical advocacy group. This is an organization that lobbies Congress, supporting legislation that seeks to combat hunger in the US and around the world. It is a non-partisan voice for ending hunger through improving government policies.
- ELCA World Hunger. While some of the money donated to ELCA World Hunger goes to meeting immediate emergency needs (in response to natural disasters, for example) most of the funds go to projects that seek sustainable, local, long-term solutions to hunger-related problems. “Where there’s a well, there’s a way,” the water justice program started by the 5th and 6th graders at Redeemer, is an effort to raise money for an ELCA World Hunger program. One well, one source of clean water, can dramatically change the lives of several hundred people, especially children who are most susceptible to water-borne diseases. ELCA World Hunger also works with international organizations and local partners to support sustainable agriculture, drought prevention, and projects to combat preventable diseases like malaria.
Provide emergency assistance and charity
Charity alone is not a sustainable solution; it can lead to a cycle of disempowering dependence and allow corrupt and oppressive systems and institutions to continue unquestioned. But justice work is slow, and people are in need of help right now. The Salvation Army, Bootstrap, the Crisis Center and Portage County Health and Human Services are all organizations in our area that provide both immediate emergency assistance and some assistance with transitions to more long term solutions for work and housing. The resources of these local organizations are spread very thin, which is why more and more people are looking to churches and individuals for additional help. In some cases, you may be moved to help someone with direct emergency assistance. This may not always turn out the way you planned, but God will work through your gift in ways you may never have expected.
Give generously to the ministry and mission of Redeemer Lutheran Church
When you pledge and give to the General Fund at Redeemer—the money you put in the offering plate or have automatically deducted each month through Simply Giving—you aren’t just paying the bills, you’re making a significant contribution to both long-term justice work and emergency charity needs. Redeemer allocates 20% of each yearly budget to supporting local and national organizations, such as Bootstrap and the ELCA World Hunger appeal. Redeemer consistently ranks in the Top 5 giving congregations in our synod, not only by the percentage we give, but also by the actual amount we give to helping people in need. These gifts—along with generous contributions of volunteer time and support for special projects like Thanksgiving Baskets and school supply drives—make a real, tangible difference in the lives of countless people, both in the short and long term.
Talk to generous people; find out what they do
The suggestions in this article and your own experiences with giving are a good place to start, but the best way to learn generosity is by entering into conversation with other generous people. What motivates them? What do they do when giving is difficult? Talk to people who are generous in different ways—with their time, talents or treasure.
We are all beggars; this is true. –Martin Luther
Most of this article has focused on the challenge to give to people we don’t know very well—people who drop by the church looking for help or people in other countries who we may never get to meet. This can sometimes lead to the assumption that they are needy and we are not—that it is up to us to help them. But need is not a them, out there condition—it is an all of us condition, a human condition. Martin Luther’s last written words—“We are all beggars; this is true”—remind us that, in various and very real ways, we are all needy. We are all in desperate need of God’s love, grace and forgiveness. We need each other, too—we need the whole Body of Christ to care for us, support us, forgive us and strengthen us.
As many of you know from personal experience, genuine need is not something we have to look far away to find. There are members and friends of Redeemer who have needed emergency assistance in the past or are in need of it right now. You may be in the middle of such a time of need, yourself. If you are in need, contact me or a member of the congregation council so we can brainstorm ways to help or get you in contact with help. If you are in a position to help congregation members in need, make sure Pastor Annie and members of the congregation council know that you are ready and willing to be called upon to help. For inspiration, listen to this story from This I Believe about God working through a congregation to provide crucial assistance at a critical time.
Jesus is always unexpected
Sometimes Jesus shows up unexpectedly, needing food, water, housing, healing, and someone to talk to. It’s unexpected, but it shouldn’t really surprise us too much. Jesus always shows up in unexpected ways: as a vulnerable infant born to a poor family; as a refugee; as a friend to prostitutes, tax collectors, and sinners; as a convicted criminal, dying on the cross. Jesus showing up on Easter morning is about as unexpected as it gets; Jesus showing up every Sunday morning, in the bread and wine of Holy Communion, is beyond the ability of reason to expect. The unexpected Jesus challenges us, in many ways, to see the image of God in our neighbors and to reveal the image of God in all we say and do. It is not easy, but we are not alone: Christ goes with us, expected or not.
*ETA: A friend read this and rightly reminded me not to conflate mental illness with violence. People with mental illness are more likely to be the victims of violence than the perpetrators of violence. Trying to predict ahead of time who will or won’t be violent is not feasible and not a good way to live. Approach each situation–whether it involves mental illness or not–with an appropriate level of concern. Here’s an excellent article about mental illness and violence: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1525086/.
Remembering Bob Friedrich
Bob Friedrich, a member of Redeemer, died on Saturday, September 3. This post includes text of the sermon from his funeral and his obituary. The funeral was on Wednesday, September 7, at 10 am at Trinity Lutheran Church, The Rev. Anne Edison-Albright preaching and presiding. The texts for the day (chosen by Bob) were Psalm 23 and Luke 24:13-35.
Let us pray. God, send your Holy Spirit to all of us today. Stir up memories of Bob that we can share with each other. Send your peace and joy into our remembering and grieving today and in all the days to come. Amen.
On Saturday morning I went to Bob and Barb’s house to have a short service of anointing, communion and prayer with all the family gathered together. We all understood that this was one of those last things, something that you do to mark the end of life on earth. Bob’s breathing was starting to slow down and he had moments where he seemed to leave the room for awhile. And then he’d be back, smiling at us, looking lovingly at Barb, adding a word or two to the conversation.
After the service I had a moment alone with Bob. Nervously, I asked the question that was on my mind and heart: “Bob, are you ready?”
His gaze sharpened, he looked steadily, right at me and in a completely normal Bob voice he said: “Yes! Where are we going?”
I was too surprised to respond! Then Bob smiled, and it was clear that Bob knew exactly where he was going. He was leaving on his next big trip, his next adventure. He was going to see his son, Pete. And he was ready.
"Winding Road" by Barbara Sosson, the image from the cover of Bob's funeral bulletin.
Bob loved to travel. He loved all the different parts of it: planning, traveling itself, and getting to the destination. When asked about his earliest memory from childhood, Bob described Sunday afternoon drives with his family: his mom, Lillian, his dad, Karl, his sister, Ann, and his brother, Richard. As they drove, Lillian would be in the front seat, peeling apples for the kids to eat. This memory brought tears to Bob’s eyes, this simple, beautiful expression of his mother’s love.
Bob’s mother loved to travel, too. Karl Friedrich ran a grocery store, which meant that he worked 7 days a week with no time off, so longer trips for Bob were always with his Mom. She would take the kids to visit family in Illinois, Iowa and California. Bob remembered the time his Uncle Bill and Uncle Norm took them on a 250 mile “shortcut” through orange groves in California. The smell of the oranges and the joy of that journey stayed with Bob and gave him a love of travel not only as a means to a destination but as something to enjoy for its own sake, for the adventures you can have and memories you can form on the way to someplace else. It’s something Bob’s son, Peter, especially, seemed to inherit from his dad. Bob remembered how Pete’s trips home from college would seem to take forever because he was always stopping along the road striking up conversations with strangers in restaurants.
The story we just heard from the Gospel of Luke is a story about traveling, not only for the sake of the destination, but for the conversation that happens on the way, in-between the place you left and the place you’re going.
On the third day after Jesus was crucified, two of his disciples walked from Jerusalem to Emmaus, a journey of about 7 miles. The trip gave them a chance to talk about everything they’d been going through: the death of Jesus, their teacher and their friend; the hopes they’d had for the redemption of Israel; the strange stories they’d heard that morning from the women who went to the tomb and found it empty, and from Peter, who’d gone to see for himself that Jesus’ body was gone.
They were sad. They didn’t dare to have hope. When a stranger joined them on the road they invited him into their conversation. They told him everything that had been going on in Jerusalem, and then the stranger used Holy Scripture to explain what it all meant. Later, they realized that the stranger they’d met on the road was really Jesus. Even and especially when we don’t realize it, Jesus is our traveling companion, the one who walks with us on the road, who meets us in unexpected people and places, and who guides us, like a shepherd, through even the darkest valleys.
When Peter Friedrich, Bob’s son, died suddenly in 2007, Bob and his family found themselves in a valley they never could have predicted or imagined. Bob said the experience of losing Pete made him realize how important it was to trust God. Not easy, but important. He realized that he trusted God even when life didn’t make sense, even when loss and grief was overwhelming and God seemed far away. Bob hung on to that trust, that faith that God had not abandoned him on the road.
God was walking that road with Bob, and so was Barb, Bob’s wife and his beloved traveling companion. Bob and Barb met when they were 15 years old at a Friday night dance at the rec center. Barb was scanning the crowd, looking for tall guys. Right away she noticed one head sticking out above all the others, and thought, “Well, he’s kind of cute!” Bob was quite pleased to get that kind of attention from such a good looking blonde, and as they got to know each other better he realized that this pretty, tall girl was also smart, and fun, and wonderful to talk to, and they’d talk for hours and hours on the phone.
Barb’s notes got Bob through his two worst subjects in high school: chemistry and biology. Bob’s hard work and intensive study made those two subjects his best in college, and he went on to graduate Magna Cum Laude from the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee. Bob’s comment on that achievement: “I did OK.”
Soon after medical school Bob served in the Navy, and that meant a lot of traveling. Korea, the Philippines, Singapore and Spain for Bob as well as several big moves for Barb and their growing family. Their traveling started when Ryan was two and Barb was pregnant with Heidi. By the time Peter was born, they’d lived in all four corners of the country: Florida, California, Washington State and Maine.
Overall, Bob and Barb look back on this as a good time, but clearly it was a hard time, too, especially when Bob was away. Every time he was home on leave, about 10 days before he was due to depart again, Bob and Barb would start fighting. They realized it was their way of trying to make it easier for both of them when he left. When Bob got his cancer diagnosis in October 2008, he told Barb: “We’re not going to do that this time. We don’t have to fight because I’m leaving.”
With a diagnosis of cancer and a prognosis of less than 4 months to live, Bob, at first, found it difficult to make and keep any plans. Chemotherapy sometimes made him very sick, and the combination of not knowing how well he’d feel, or even if he’d be alive at all, made any kind of long term planning difficult. For a man who loved to plan things, this was a hard adjustment. But as weeks turned into months and months turned into years, Bob realized that living with cancer was different, but could still be wonderful and packed full of gatherings with family and friends, making treasured memories together.
He said it made him more spontaneous, a claim that was tested when Barb came home from a silent auction and presented Bob with something called: “The Packer Experience.” It included a personalized tour of Lambeau Field, passes to get out on the field before the game, and sky box seats for the game which included a delicious gourmet meal. But the event was months away. Bob remembered thinking, “What if I’m too sick to go? What if I’m not around at all?”
But Bob wasn’t too sick to go, and Ryan, Jim and Jeffrey went with him. When Bob told stories about that day he absolutely glowed with joy: “I had such a wonderful time,” he said.
A fishing trip to Canada with Bob Reko, a trip to Vegas with Judi and Gary Cumley, and, most of all, frequent trips to the family cottage on the lake and visits with children, grandchildren and extended family … these brought joy and hope to Bob, right in the middle of his most difficult times with cancer.
The story we heard about the disciples on the road to Emmaus is a story about how God is revealed in the last place we’d expect at the most unlikely times. Jesus was the last person the disciples expected to meet on the road that day, and yet, there he was, revealed to them in the act of breaking bread and sharing it, stirring up memories in them of all the times he’d broken bread and shared meals with them before.
On Bob’s journey through life, God was revealed in the loving act of a mother, peeling apples for her children. God was revealed in the smell of oranges in California, in the sound of Barb’s voice over the telephone when they were teenagers, and in the sound of her voice right next to him at his beside when he died.
God was revealed in the way little Ryan’s eyes went wide the first time Bob took him out on that big Navy ship to meet the guys. God was revealed on Bob’s motorcycle trip to see Pete in Colorado. On that trip, Bob was amazed by the thunderstorms in Nebraska and the strong winds blowing over the plains in South Dakota. God is revealed in the little boy that Heidi is due to deliver tomorrow, a miracle of life and hope in the midst of loss. (Update: Jackson “Jack” Friedrich Chitwood was born on Thursday, September 8: 10 lbs 1 oz, 21 1/4 inches long, with a full head of dark hair and BIG feet. Mom and baby are doing great!)
Think about the moment when your life journey intersected with Bob’s. Are you a friend from Oshkosh, from college, from medical school? Did you meet Bob in the Navy, at St. Joseph’s hospital in Milwaukee, at St. Michael’s, or at church? Whether you’ve known Bob for your whole life or for just a short time, think about how your life is different because you knew him.
Your life’s journey and Bob’s life journey intersected. How did it change your direction? How did it lead you to places you wouldn’t have gone, otherwise? How did Bob’s life reveal the risen Christ to you, how did it show you the love of God in unexpected, surprising, wonderful ways?
God was revealed to us in Bob’s life—In his work, his love for his family, his sense of humor and so many other ways—and God is also revealed in Bob’s death. God our loving Father speaks to us today through the songs and the words from the Bible that Bob chose for this funeral. If you look around at the people around you, you’ll see God revealed in the faces of all these people who knew Bob and have come to remember him, to celebrate his life on earth and his new life in heaven.
God is revealed to us today just as Jesus was revealed to his disciples when they stopped on the road to share a meal together: God is revealed in the breaking of the bread. As we stop for a moment on the road, and share this meal together, we are joined at this table by a whole communion, a whole community of saints. Bob and all our dear ones who have died join us at this table, just as surely as Jesus is truly present with us in the bread and in the wine.
“Where are we going?” Bob asked. Bob knew where he was going. He knew that his journey on earth was ending and his eternal journey with God was just beginning.
So, where are we going? We are continuing this journey through life, blessed by memories of Bob, and with God as our constant traveling companion. We may not always feel ready for this journey, we may not always see or understand the road ahead, but, like Bob, we trust that God walks with us, and that, on the way to our destination, God will be revealed in surprising, wonderful ways.
Let us pray: God, we give you thanks for Bob’s last journey on earth and his safe arrival into eternal life. Walk with us as we miss Bob, as we mourn him, as we remember all the ways he touched the lives of all those around him. Lead and guide us on our journeys through life, and in, in the end, reunite us with Bob and all our loved ones. In the name of your risen son, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
***
Obituary for Robert C. Friedrich
Robert C. Friedrich, 60, of Stevens Point, died on Saturday, September 3, 2011 at home. Present were his wife, children, grandchildren, brother, sister, and extended family. During the week preceding his death Bob was surrounded with love, laughter, and wonderful memories of happy times.
Robert (Bob) was raised in Oshkosh, WI where he met and married his high school sweetheart, Barbara. He went on to graduate from Carroll College in 1973 and magnum cum laude from the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee in 1977. After graduation he proudly served in the U.S. Navy, finishing his tour of duty as a Flight Surgeon. Bob completed his residency at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Milwaukee in Diagnostic Radiology in 1985.
Bob and Barb moved their family to Stevens Point in 1985 when Bob joined the Central Wisconsin Radiologists of which he became department chair and president. Bob was also named chief of the medical staff at St. Michael’s Hospital from 2008-2009.
Bob’s generous, loving spirit was a blessing to all who knew him. He had the gift of being able to listen and connect with those around him, and his generosity of time & attention was boundless. His amazing memory for details served him well professionally and socially. He loved sports, both playing, and discussing statistics. Bob loved to travel, an interest which started as a boy. He lived on both coasts of the U.S. while serving in the Navy and continued to enjoy travel throughout his life. Bob touched many lives, and those privileged to know him were forever changed, as he was by them.
Bob leaves behind his loving family: wife Barbara, son Ryan (Elisabeth) Friedrich, Stoughton, WI, daughter Heidi (Matthew) Chitwood, Stevens Point, WI, sister Ann Friedrich, Lenexa, KS, brother Richard Friedrich, Oshkosh, WI, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and many loving extended family members. He is preceded in death by his loving son Peter Stuart and his parents Karl and Lillian.
Visitation will be on Tuesday, September 6, 2011 from 4:00-8:00 PM at the Shuda Funeral Chapel. Funeral services will be held Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:00 AM at Trinity Lutheran Church in Stevens Point with visitation from 9:00 AM to the time of services at the church.
In lieu of flowers memorial contributions can be made to the Peter Stuart Friedrich Memorial Fund at the Central Wisconsin Community Foundation or to Redeemer Lutheran Church, Stevens Point.
